This morning the Trucker and I breakfasted at a truck stop in Fargo, North Dakota. While we were walking across the parking lot hand in hand, an oncoming truck stopped, and waved us to cross the lot ahead of him. A considerate gesture, although it may have been better in this instance for him to go on through first.
The Trucker was dressed in his trademark western style shirt, jeans, and boots. I wore a pullover blouse, long, full skirt, and sandals. (Not hard to see who is working and who is not, here!)
We entered the building, and while waiting for the Trucker to finish business, I paced back and forth in the lobby area. (No way will I sit if there is opportunity to walk!) At the coffee counter, the pig-tailed gentleman barista was serving a couple who stood out by their dress. The man, with his short hair and beard, suspenders and plainly cut clothing, could have fit in at any Lancaster County Beachy church. The woman wore a long, vested dress as is common in the Charity churches. Her obviously abundant, pinned up hair was covered by a black veil that draped over her shoulders and midway down her back. Apparently they had a specific way their order was to be filled, and the server was listening intently, and responding in a very respectful tone.
On my next pass through the area, a man wearing sweatpants and sandals, sporting tattoos on any exposed skin, was ordering a drink. While no less respectful, the barista was much less attentive and responsive.
Now, maybe I am reading too much into this. I don't know what the particulars of the two orders were. But it got me thinking.
This Passenger dresses for comfort and modesty while riding the truck. And as simply as possible, for time is usually of the essence. And yes, I do wear a skirt. Not always, but often. It does require a bit more agility when climbing in and out, but in a skirt that is long and loose, any position can be assumed to relieve the stress of constant sitting without sacrificing modesty. Leggings underneath provide warmth and comfort. At night, it takes little fuss and space to remove the skirt and sleep comfortably in shirt and leggings.
Many people dress for comfort when traveling. No argument there. But they take it a bit far, in my opinion. One doesn't have to look far to see very sloppy appearances. You've seen them, I don't need to elaborate. Behavior also seems to correspond with appearance.
Problem is, with the lowering of dress standards and behavior of the general public, comes the decline in self respect as well. Not only of the wearer, but of those who interact with them. I don't think people do this consciously. It just happens. I doubt that barista served the conservatively dressed couple more carefully because he thought they would be quick to anger and accuse if their order was not as they requested. He just naturally responded to the respect they had for themselves and those around them, as evidenced by their dress and mannerisms.
As we left, I thought back to the many times busy truckers on a schedule at these facilities have stopped to open doors, say "excuse me, ma'am," apologize for a swear word, step back and allow me to precede them. And so I posed a question to the Trucker.
"Remember when we were going across the lot, and that trucker stopped his rig and waved us across ahead of him? Do you think things like that happen more often when I am with you than when you are alone?"
Reeling his brain back in from wherever it was at the time, the Trucker pondered. "Never gave it much thought before, but yes, I think so."
There is chivalry, honor, and respect left in the world. Often found at the most unexpected places. Especially as believers, we are called to treat others as we would ourselves, or better, even as though serving angels unawares. And our behavior toward others should not be dependent on how others present themselves to us.
But even in a truck stop or a travel plaza, modesty, femininity, respect for ourselves and others, have a place, and can be found. There still seems to be instinctive courtesy among people, no matter how society and its popular attitudes attempt to squelch it. And while I am perfectly capable of opening doors and entering and exiting trucks on my own, and would personally prefer to serve rather than be served, accepting the courtesy offered shows respect in return to the one offering it.
My appearance may attract more attention out in the world than I prefer. But with God's help, I will bring honor to Him, rather than dishonor. A smile and a "Thank you, sir," go a long way to make someone's day.
(Please do not take from this that I am saying only a woman in a long skirt or head covering is modest, or deserves courtesy. A thousand times no. We are created in God's image, male and female, whether we acknowledge it or not. I have seen conservative women who are very immodest by their actions, words, and the cut and fit of their "plain" dresses. I have also seen very modest women clothed in slacks and blouses, jeans and shirts. There is no place for legalism here, but every place for openness to the Spirit. And a teachable heart, a willingness to honor the gentle guidance of husband or father.)
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